Hamburgers and French Fries
by XxAllisonKirkland96xX
Summary: What do you think the story of America's cat, Hamburger, is? Read to see the tails of Hamburger and French Fry, a trusty Golden Retriever, and how their lives started. WARNING: Mpreg and OCs in here. UsUk and hints of FrUk
1. Prologue

I am a cat. You are a cat. We are all cats! Except for the powerful ones with can openers. They are humans. We bow down to them. Unless they hurt your master-human. She/he is the one that owns your house. You bow down to the master-human at all times, except if the master-human gives you up or takes you to the V-E-T. Then you make them have hell. The way you make them have hell is by hiding, scratching everything, peeing on things, barfing up your food, or simply biting/scratching them. Then they have to fix their pretty little hands with _thumbs_ or get something on their _skin_ to stop the bleeding, or have to clean up if you complete the first few tasks.

Now to deal with the Master-human's offspring. They are the ones you are _always_ nice to, even if you hate them. The master-human will hurt you or leave you outside or in the basement if you hurt the offspring. This is because it takes 9 months for the offspring to be created and then you can't play with the offspring till they are 5 years older, in the humans' years, or they will start crying. To play with them, you simply follow the pretty light, eat the treats, do the tricks, and cuddle. That is it. And you will be petted! You also have a better chance of not being left behind if/when the master-human, its mate, and their offspring move to a new house.

When outside, you DO NOT leave the yard or area claimed by the master-human. If you do, they will get a collar that shocks you if you go past this cord and let me tell you, it is not pleasant. Don't be too loud or they will put a different collar that still shocks you, but only when you meow or bark, for dogs. I have never had that type on but French Fries says it hurts.

By the way, my name is Hamburger and I'm a 3 hundred year old male cat. I also look a lot like my master, Alfred, except I don't have glasses or a bomber jacket from WWII, that time period was **Scary**. With a capital 'S' even. My friend, French Fry, is a golden retriever who's older. 350 years old. He was given to our master-human, Alfred, when the British master-human, that my boyfriend Shakespeare belongs to, became Alfred's owner.

I was found and Arthur, Alfred's boyfriend and Shakespeare's owner, thought I was a cute kitten so that's how I was given to Alfred. Being found with my twin Maple, who's owner is Matthew, Alfred's twin, on the side of a newly built barn. Our mother dead but actually belonged to Alfred and Matthew's mother, Native America, we never learned her human name, and in the barn, in the very back of it. Hidden under hay and she would be found later but she told us to go and be found by a blonde man with heavy eyebrows over green eyes and having a funny way of talking. Like he sounded funny.

So, now that you know about me, why don't we go onto m life from very beginning to now. As I type and work on Alfred's paperwork with French Fry because Alfred is lazy and stayed up playing video games again. The papers are also due in an hour…

Go on and read about me and my history as I finish up, have French Fry wake Alfred, and all that. I will have a commentary with the person actually writing this all later on afterwards. Bye-bye!

0~0

~The Kirkland Burger Shop~

Alli: Hey everyone! So this will be Americat's story, or Hamburger! I tried to do the best as I could. And yeah, a cat would have horrible grammer.

Hamburger: Why is this called 'The Kirkland Burger Shop' exactly?

Alli: Hello, Allison Kirkland and your hamburger. Duh.

Hamburger: Then shouldn't it be 'Hamburger' instead of 'Burger'?

Alli:…. * ~The Kirkland Hamburger Shop~

Alli: There.

Hamburger:….oh well.

French Fry: Hello!

Alli: Hi French Fry!

Hamburger: Hi Fry

French Fry: 'Hamburger Shop'? I've been to one! I couldn't go in, but I got a few burgers and a large order of fries after Al came out!

Hamburger: His name is Alfred!

French Fry: Well I call him Al. I have known him longer than you!

Alli: Ehehehehehe… Let's let them duke it out while I say a few more things.

Alli: First off, this will be on both my dA account and my ff account. So you can read it on either site. Secondly, for those on dA, my ff account is 'XxAllisonKirkland96xX' so that is why I said that I'm Allison Kirkland. Just my user name for something else.

Also, this will be my first time trying a story with animals as the main characters and I will be trying to upload a new chapter every week on Friday night. If not, go ahead and throw toast, pancakes, hamburgers, or tomatoes at me. (the toast is a Rocky Horror ref., btw)

This will be more comical than historical (hopefully) so please throw one of the four things listed above at me if it gets to serious and historical. But not if I make a note that it was supposed to be like that in The Kirkland Hamburger Shop.

I realize that hamburgers and French fries weren't around when Alfred would have named them, but, it's cute and this is also going to be fluffy. I might also focus on Alfred and Arthur half the time if I feel like it.

There will be Mpreg, both cat and human alike, so don't bother reading the next chapter or anywhere past here if you just don't like Mpreg in total.

*looks at page thing* wow, I filled 2 pages by droning on and on about this stuff. Let's look at the score of Hamburger and French Fry's battle *turns around to see they aren't even fighting and staring at me*

Hamburger: Wait, Shakespeare will get pregnant? Yahoo! *runs off to tell the Scottish Fold*

French Fry: *cocks head to the side* there won't be storms, will there? And please don't tell me Artie has a dog too…

Alli: *hugs French Fries' neck* Nonononono! You're the only dog (besides Germany and Ireland's pet and dogs) that will be in here and belonging to a nation that has actually used the English Language since being a child!

French Fry: Yay! *licks Alli's cheek* and could you do a special just for me later?

Alli: Sure French Fry!

French Fry: Yay! *runs off to tell Hamburger*

Alli: *wipes forehead* Kay, I'll be going now. Read, review, fav and comment people! Bye-bye!


	2. Chapter 1 MEET ALLISON

Alli: Okay… I'm changing when America got Hamburger to he was found with a little kitten and a puppy… so he's had them forever and got them from his mum. And ja, I'm German and British. Sue me.

Hamburger:….I'M OLDER! MWAHAHAHAhahahaha*cough*

French Fry: D: Now I have to deal with him all my life?

Alli: No, Shakespeare has to deal with him for an extra 50-100 years :'D I'm so mean to him

Shakespeare: …..*glare-glare-glare*

Alli: …*pet-pet-pet*

Shakespeare: *purr-purr-purr*

Alli: Works every time. Btw, this is not the burger shop, just a note part. The Kirkland Hamburger Shop is always after the story and today I'm having Shakespeare, my daddy's pet, join us~

Shakespeare: *didn't-hear-anything-because he's-loving Alli's-lap-right-now*

Hamburger:….. So then you'll be Arthur and Alfred's daughter?

Alli: No, I'm about 100 years older than Al so I'll be coming to the New World with Artie but I'll be like, 2 years older in appearance to Al until he ages about 6 years in 2 weeks. Now you're making me give out spoilers D Onto the story! But one last one. Allison Kirkland is the representation of Earth, and her(my) mum is to be announced (can't think of someone right now). She(I) am also about 5 to start.

1~1

Arthur Kirkland was having another one of his fights with Francis Bonnefoy as his daughter was sitting on the side, just watching. Arthur figured it was boring for her since she was technically the representation of the Earth, but she knew every language that way. And she didn't get bothered by wars, or fight in them for that matter.

"Giving up yet, frog?" Arthur taunted the French man.

"Non, for I have just started!" Francis yelled back and dashed to the right, swinging his blade very closely to Allison, when had she gotten there?

"Daddy, I want to go. Can we go now please?" she pleaded and wasn't fazed by the sword's proximity.

"In a bit, luv. Go sit down and away from the fight!" He scolded her and Francis stopped attacking to watch this play out.

"But I'm getting hungry. And some of Spain's explorers found a new place. They're calling it America. Can we go now?" Both nations looked at her.

"What? A new land?" both asked and Allison just nodded before Arthur cut at Francis's arm and grabbed Allison and ran to his ship.

"Haha! I win again, frog!" he called back as the other clutched the bleeding appendage. Allison didn't bother with saying anything, she was pretty quiet when alone with Arthur anyways, and she wanted the play with Arthur's pet cat anyways on their way to the New world to claim land.

"I want to play with Shakespeare…" Allison mumbled as she was carried by her father.

"You can on the ship. Now we have to get home and pack for the trip," Arthur told her while putting his sword away before lifting Allison onto his shoulders. She giggled a little and had a small smile while hugging his head.

"Alright papá, podo ter un pouco do tío Haggis Escocia, entón? Por favor?" She asked, completely in Galician. (daddy, can I have some of uncle Scotland's haggis then? Please?)

Arthur sighed and shook his head. "Sorry luv, but he is taking care of his lands right now and he's been having a shortage of sheep because you keep asking for haggis, though I can't see how you can eat that on a regular basis." He told her before feeling her arms tighten around his head.

"Alright papá, the hurry! I want to meet America!" She sqealled and Arthur sighed before speeding up and they got to their house after an hour or so.

"Now only pack dresses, under garmets and shoes. We have to get going soon to beat the frog." Arthur told him while taking her to her room. "Any toys you want to pack we can send for later. Right now, we have to focus on getting a home started and find America." Arthur told her to get a nod as she was set down before he left to pack his own clothes plus supplies and food for the trip.

Allison came down with he was getting food and stood on her toes to look at the counter. "Why not get foods you ate as a pirate, papá?" she asked and looked up to see him chuckle.

"Alright, then we have to go to the market and get meats and salt. Let's go." He told her before looking at the table to see her chest full of dresses, underwear and shoes. "Your fast, aren't you?"

"I only got dresses that you wouldn't mind if they got ruined and dirty. And some things from Francis. You don't like those dresses, right?" he blinked and picked her up.

"You remembered, good job. Now let's go." He said simply and they left.

2~2

In the vast plains of America, two little boys stood together before the one with the cat and polar bear drifted off to sleep. He was then taken north by the polar bear with the tini kitten asleep on its head. The other boy, who had a kitten and a puppy, sat and watched as his twin was taken to his lands before looking around as his native people came up to him.

"Hello!" he greeted in their language and waved. A woman came over and picked him up with a smile.

"Hello son. Is your brother going to the lands I have given him?" she asked him to get an enthustiastic nod. "The white men are coming. You must go closer to the east waters and greet them, but not dirrectly. You shall stay back till seeing a young girl around your age with dark blonde hair, likes your but not. Her eyes will be like the vast green fields in a way, but darker. Like the moss that grows thick on the pine trees in the west." She continued and stopped when the boy started drifting off. "Are you listening to me, my son?" he didn't respond and fell asleep in her arms. The woman sighed and handed the boy to one of her people as two others grabbed his pets and the three left while the woman and other 5 that had heard her all went to the west, so they could live together a while longer before the land was lost to the white people.

The boy stirred awake as he was set down and waved to the natives before they disapeared and he was alone near a Finnish and Sedish settlement so he went to investigate it, holding his kitten and the puppy following, of course.

3~3

~The Kirkland Hamburger Shop~

Alli:….YAY! I get to play with Shakespeare soon!

Hamburger: D: I didn't get to say bye to my mom!

French Fry: Al and our names were never even mentioned and your worried about your mom? Wow, mommy issues much…

Alli: French Fry! Be a little nicer! I don't even know who my mum is!

French Fry: ….maybe its France and Artie just never told you

Alli:….that could be likely and very probable. Maybe I should have France be a secret girl just for the heck of it.

Hamburger: That would be very entertaining and funny. But doesn't the female France have brown hair?

Alli: Putting lemon juice in your hair during the summer bleaches it! That would also explain Allison having darker hair than Iggy but green eyes.

Hamburger: You really have a brain, even when listening to loud German music.

Alli: It's Japanese (but German Anthem) and I do not take that as a complament.

Hamburger: Good, wasn't in the first place.

Alli: *glares* Your going to be dropped in a stream later, just wait. That will be how they find your body.

Hamburger: D: I hope you don't mean that!

Alli: *glares*

Hamburger: *shivers and hides*

French Fry:… Alli doesn't own Hetalia or the cats, but she does own me! Metoforically in creator.

Alli: RAPTOR JEUSES OWNS YOU, FRENCH FRY!

French Fry: O.o yeah… bye for now and see you all later!

Alli: Also, sorry for having barely any Hamburger but I had to have something leading up to England actual- *gets cut off by French Fry closing the shop*


End file.
